Article by Roberto FuzzyStaff writer
Man in his best years (you know, for men the best years last and last and last). Writer, beer drinker, interested in anything cool and nothing whatsoever.
God Allah announced today He is now seeking sponsors for the purpose of The Resurrection. Applicants may apply by email to god @llah.us
Allah states, "I am pleased to update you on My Successful Arrival. I am seeking sponsors, e.g. businesses, organizations, communities, etc. to further the cause of The Resurrection. I want the world to know I love you and am here amongst you. I thank you for your prayers and issue My Press most expediently. I believe although this is an emergency, I advise you to stay calm, pray and welcome Me unto you so I may help you."
For more information please contact +1-650-458-7524 (INTL messages in, USA out), god @llah.us
Hmm, what's next?